Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
