I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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