dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
