is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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