Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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