i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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