roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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