wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
