Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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