In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
im about as happy as oj after his trial
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
