And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
