Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
