i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
