Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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