It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I have aggressive nipples.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
