I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
