were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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