he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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