Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.