you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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