i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
