i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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