i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My nipple is on Facebook.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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