I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
