Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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