Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
try to milk me bitch
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
