He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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