he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
