he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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