So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
