I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
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Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
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We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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