in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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