I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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