Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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