first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
