thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
