Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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