what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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