she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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