Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
