I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
