first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
