The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We were destined to go to rehab together
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
