MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
