Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.

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  (203): I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt. http://tfl.nu/mij5
  Replies (9) Good night (863) Bad night (1101)
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  (650): View more from California

  Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.

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  (650): Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight. http://tfl.nu/6biy
  Replies (47) Good night (5032) Bad night (891)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...

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  (407): Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup... http://tfl.nu/530r
  Replies (26) Good night (3522) Bad night (1031)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?

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  (250): Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom? http://tfl.nu/cirg
  Replies (72) Good night (18248) Bad night (2775)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.

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  (206): She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/y8c3
  Replies (29) Good night (9038) Bad night (1869)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors

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  (250): We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors http://tfl.nu/t3jz
  Replies (11) Good night (5265) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.

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  (717): I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees. http://tfl.nu/sibe
  Replies (4) Good night (1512) Bad night (818)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.

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  (905): How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots. http://tfl.nu/qww5
  Replies (2) Good night (1822) Bad night (686)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.

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  (512): Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??" (1-512): Yeah no more flaming everclear shots. http://tfl.nu/vc2f
  Replies (11) Good night (944) Bad night (1551)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?

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  (505): Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it? http://tfl.nu/czl6
  Replies (2) Good night (341) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment

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  (610): How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment http://tfl.nu/bnot
  Replies (4) Good night (707) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.

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  (541): I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis. http://tfl.nu/x9yx
  Replies (4) Good night (952) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.

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  (541): k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating. http://tfl.nu/iql3
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Another sexterpiece awaits

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  (919): Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits (1-919): Another sexterpiece awaits http://tfl.nu/xw4q
  Replies (3) Good night (753) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.

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  (201): The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh. http://tfl.nu/kyoe
  Replies (0) Good night (329) Bad night (226)

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