Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...

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  (918): Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic... http://tfl.nu/yey5
  Replies (88) Good night (10353) Bad night (1645)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.

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  (416): She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic. http://tfl.nu/pwae
  Replies (10) Good night (3516) Bad night (1596)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...

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  (717): She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands... http://tfl.nu/ij5g
  Replies (42) Good night (989) Bad night (6753)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.

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  (248): your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood. http://tfl.nu/qlw2
  Replies (18) Good night (6813) Bad night (1101)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.

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  (512): Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie. http://tfl.nu/3ijz
  Replies (18) Good night (7811) Bad night (1327)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.

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  (309): don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia. http://tfl.nu/2ibq
  Replies (6) Good night (1999) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.

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  (727): It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together. http://tfl.nu/hikf
  Replies (30) Good night (1093) Bad night (5293)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.

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  (229): I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party. http://tfl.nu/127h
  Replies (4) Good night (1218) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now

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  (219): I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now http://tfl.nu/0dlv
  Replies (5) Good night (1032) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...

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  (910): Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history... http://tfl.nu/c2a0
  Replies (2) Good night (889) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates

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  (561): I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates http://tfl.nu/pbgm
  Replies (4) Good night (565) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE

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  (803): Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE http://tfl.nu/rt74
  Replies (13) Good night (555) Bad night (1255)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!

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  (330): It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink! http://tfl.nu/ur99
  Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life

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  (704): Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life http://tfl.nu/jsnk
  Replies (1) Good night (594) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs

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  (732): I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs http://tfl.nu/h31c
  Replies (5) Good night (340) Bad night (130)

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