Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.

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(313): Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra. http://tfl.nu/n0j6

Replies (5) Good night (1847) Bad night (741)
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(972): View more from Texas

Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?

(469): View more from Texas

Ya, why?

(972): View more from Texas

We should try that some time.

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(972): Remember that sex scene from American Psycho? (469): Ya, why? (972): We should try that some time. http://tfl.nu/72x3

Replies (10) Good night (1201) Bad night (622)
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(631): View more from New York

Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key

(631): View more from New York

had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.

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(631): Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key (631): had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now. http://tfl.nu/o06a

Replies (21) Good night (938) Bad night (883)
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(760): View more from California

If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.

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(760): If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best. http://tfl.nu/ew7r

Replies (17) Good night (4095) Bad night (738)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.

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(336): Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid. http://tfl.nu/ga4m

Replies (30) Good night (6077) Bad night (932)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.

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(803): She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient. http://tfl.nu/2q61

Replies (22) Good night (5221) Bad night (1088)
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(317): View more from Indiana

What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?

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(317): What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy? http://tfl.nu/iupy

Replies (20) Good night (1354) Bad night (3387)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.

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(617): I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis. http://tfl.nu/8mhm

Replies (9) Good night (1664) Bad night (3995)
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(509): View more from Washington

I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?

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(509): I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad? http://tfl.nu/r4ig

Replies (14) Good night (1292) Bad night (1989)
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(646): View more from New York

last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good

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(646): last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good http://tfl.nu/h7gj

Replies (16) Good night (1915) Bad night (913)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

Her idea of kinky involved a tazer

(850): View more from Florida

wtf?

(270): View more from Kentucky

I'm going back tonight

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(270): Her idea of kinky involved a tazer (850): wtf? (270): I'm going back tonight http://tfl.nu/a9kb

Replies (15) Good night (2734) Bad night (728)
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(847): View more from Illinois

told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..

(630): View more from Illinois

how did he take it?

(847): View more from Illinois

not as well as i would have thought

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(847): told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex.. (630): how did he take it? (847): not as well as i would have thought http://tfl.nu/nj94

Replies (6) Good night (1457) Bad night (671)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor

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(412): you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor http://tfl.nu/kbco

Replies (4) Good night (1557) Bad night (529)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.

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(202): She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family. http://tfl.nu/nmso

Replies (4) Good night (858) Bad night (539)
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(703): View more from Virginia

My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud

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(703): My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud http://tfl.nu/n09m

Replies (3) Good night (859) Bad night (227)

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