Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl

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  (404): last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl http://tfl.nu/5x3v
  Replies (19) Good night (2625) Bad night (670)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!

  (805): View more from California

  God Bless America!

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  (954): Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day! (805): God Bless America! http://tfl.nu/gnt7
  Replies (134) Good night (6868) Bad night (1452)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.

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  (917): I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom. http://tfl.nu/7aa5
  Replies (65) Good night (6468) Bad night (585)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"

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  (905): I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me" http://tfl.nu/rxcz
  Replies (15) Good night (964) Bad night (2410)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.

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  (216): somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen. http://tfl.nu/y8ck
  Replies (17) Good night (9098) Bad night (1103)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Every perfect package comes with a warning label.

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  (330): Every perfect package comes with a warning label. http://tfl.nu/x7rd
  Replies (25) Good night (3875) Bad night (1188)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..

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  (412): You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off.. http://tfl.nu/ermc
  Replies (14) Good night (5033) Bad night (1439)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.

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  (229): He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam. http://tfl.nu/61az
  Replies (1) Good night (979) Bad night (1612)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.

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  (252): He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it. http://tfl.nu/4vqb
  Replies (9) Good night (1823) Bad night (618)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.

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  (401): I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands. http://tfl.nu/2kp5
  Replies (20) Good night (1043) Bad night (2890)
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  (858): View more from California

  Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's

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  (858): Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's http://tfl.nu/vv8r
  Replies (4) Good night (764) Bad night (577)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny

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  (609): And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny http://tfl.nu/jdju
  Replies (3) Good night (876) Bad night (726)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all

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  (434): It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all http://tfl.nu/veuh
  Replies (0) Good night (664) Bad night (318)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.

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  (717): I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples. http://tfl.nu/i9sk
  Replies (7) Good night (730) Bad night (308)
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  (707): View more from California

  People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.

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  (707): People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex. http://tfl.nu/ihmc
  Replies (3) Good night (895) Bad night (330)

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