Texts From Last Night

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?

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  (309): I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got? http://tfl.nu/v486
  Replies (20) Good night (795) Bad night (1945)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not

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  (678): i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not http://tfl.nu/pxco
  Replies (11) Good night (2960) Bad night (993)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.

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  (203): just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college. http://tfl.nu/ajs9
  Replies (13) Good night (4329) Bad night (700)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day

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  (302): just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day http://tfl.nu/bsdz
  Replies (6) Good night (5171) Bad night (756)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.

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  (813): i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit. http://tfl.nu/9lua
  Replies (1) Good night (2863) Bad night (789)
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  (646): View more from New York

  It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.

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  (646): It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka. http://tfl.nu/p7s5
  Replies (4) Good night (5262) Bad night (1057)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean

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  (802): Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean http://tfl.nu/dmnd
  Replies (9) Good night (1332) Bad night (879)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.

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  (567): I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin. http://tfl.nu/b7wh
  Replies (6) Good night (973) Bad night (1654)
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  (530): View more from California

  My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"

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  (530): My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra" http://tfl.nu/4lmh
  Replies (8) Good night (3713) Bad night (454)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.

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  (817): You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman. http://tfl.nu/6t1t
  Replies (10) Good night (2991) Bad night (461)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?

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  (617): How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity? http://tfl.nu/1m4t
  Replies (7) Good night (1911) Bad night (573)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family

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  (413): Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker" (1-413): I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family http://tfl.nu/b85j
  Replies (7) Good night (2159) Bad night (447)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town

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  (956): I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town http://tfl.nu/qkc2
  Replies (0) Good night (660) Bad night (257)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.

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  (250): That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/l3bq
  Replies (8) Good night (303) Bad night (1380)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.

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  (203): It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of. http://tfl.nu/uox7
  Replies (1) Good night (610) Bad night (238)

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