Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  her vagine was all disorganized.

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  (630): her vagine was all disorganized. http://tfl.nu/l46f
  Replies (5) Good night (593) Bad night (1281)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever

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  (734): It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever http://tfl.nu/iaws
  Replies (12) Good night (6618) Bad night (559)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever

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  (859): I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever http://tfl.nu/61m6
  Replies (33) Good night (6203) Bad night (867)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.

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  (612): My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell. http://tfl.nu/g9t5
  Replies (22) Good night (4054) Bad night (1006)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.

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  (613): ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money. http://tfl.nu/in19
  Replies (33) Good night (5895) Bad night (1239)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre

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  (303): im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre http://tfl.nu/07ct
  Replies (10) Good night (1983) Bad night (1149)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on

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  (202): He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on http://tfl.nu/ht4d
  Replies (9) Good night (1792) Bad night (601)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.

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  (732): I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster. http://tfl.nu/5e26
  Replies (14) Good night (2283) Bad night (583)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  "just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.

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  (651): "just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk. http://tfl.nu/ji17
  Replies (6) Good night (962) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.

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  (270): I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right? (1-270): It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking. http://tfl.nu/u0kh
  Replies (5) Good night (1614) Bad night (399)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"

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  (573): Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend" http://tfl.nu/taab
  Replies (3) Good night (451) Bad night (1236)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce

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  (404): I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce http://tfl.nu/fuvv
  Replies (8) Good night (1172) Bad night (364)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life

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  (228): I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life http://tfl.nu/miua
  Replies (6) Good night (399) Bad night (656)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce

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  (847): I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce http://tfl.nu/nrhe
  Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (355)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.

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  (954): Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie. http://tfl.nu/d57l
  Replies (8) Good night (371) Bad night (1451)

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