Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
