yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i love accidental penises.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling