dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
