Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
