high people should be assigned attendants
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
