Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize