Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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