i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
