You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
