Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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