Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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