I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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