Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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