if you like me you must not know who I am
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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