I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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