I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
